The thing I do when I'm about to give up is taking flight into fantasy. I mostly start dreaming about how things could be if he just was here with me, if he'd hold my hand and tell me everything's gonna be alright. I remember his face exactly as if I had seen it just yesterday and not ages ago. His bright green eyes that change into blue under certain light conditions, his dark brown hair always looking as if he just popped right out of bed and his heart-stopping smile not just playing about his lips but also reaching the eyes showing up a thousand laughter lines and making yourself want to smile back without any particular reason, only because it makes you feel good. Not to mention the smell of coffee he always carried about with him which let you know it was going to be a good morning.
It's not that I really miss him, I just wish he'd understand what I really meant when I told him that I care about him and that I don't want to lose contact. I guess either he never will or he won't admit if he does after all. It's okay for me though. As I mentioned it's just fantasy, not more than a dream which I know will never come true.
At least it helps escaping from reality sometimes and that makes it worthwile all the way.